Well this week has been stressful to say the least. I never knew getting a new fence installed would be such a dramatic event in my life or thought provoking!
They had initially stated that it would take 2 days to get our new fence. Day one would be removal of the old fence and setting of the metal posts and day two would be rails and pickets. Piece of cake, right?? I knew that dogs would need to be on leashes on day one since there would be no fence up.
So day one went as planned with removal of the fence and some very attached vines that really didn’t seem to want to let their portion of the fence go, so we let them go with the fence. They seemed so happy together! And now that the workers had left and I was outside seeing the backyard, I became very anxious. I was able to see the neighbors on both sides of my house as well as the neighbor behind us. I could have just walked up to each of their backdoors and just stood there. I could have even taken a dip in the one neighbor’s pool. I thought that if a tornado ever came, I would probably be this disoriented on where I was and I realized I felt very exposed. Almost like I was standing outside naked for everyone to see. All of a sudden the stress and anxiety of just being in the open like that was almost just too much for me. When I went into the house, all I could do was pace back and forth. I couldn’t focus on anything I needed to do.
Day two the workers spent all day getting the rails and pickets put up but still needed to do the gates. They would have to come back the next day to finish. Even though someone or an animal could have gotten into my backyard, just seeing that the fence had us mostly contained was such a relief. Like on Thanksgiving when you unbutton your pants! That instant satisfaction and relief. I was able to settle down and focus without all the pacing – even though my FitBit was happy with all the pacing!
Day three I get my gates completed and everything looks absolutely beautiful. I go outside now and my backyard just feels so cozy. It feels so good to have everything back to the way it should be. I am a pretty private person and now that the fence is back up, I don’t feel exposed like I had.
So I had to go to a different Weight Watchers meeting this week due to the fence being installed. One member started talking about being at work and there being goodies in the break room. She needed to know how to resist the temptation of cupcakes that are just sitting there staring at her. And how to stop after one. My first thought was I had found my food soul mate! I love how in meetings you find others that have the same issues as you.
The leader was amazing because she helps you get to the root cause. For one member, she wanted chocolate cake but after she had it she still wasn’t satisfied. After digging a little deeper, it was discovered that she wanted her mother’s homemade chocolate cake. Once she figured out specifically what she was craving, she was able to make it and be satisfied. Sometimes you have to get down to the nitty-gritty and see what exactly is it that you want. That can be hard and sometimes very emotional. You really have to ask yourself “What do I really want?”
From there you need to decide what are your rules and boundaries. For instance, when the member makes her mom’s chocolate cake, how is she going to handle it? What will be her portion size that she can handle? What about having the whole cake in her house? So we all need rules and boundaries for when we struggle. I know that it isn’t a good idea to walk through the bakery section of the grocery store, especially if I am hungry. I know that boundary needs to be in place. I need to track the good, the bad, and the ugly. If I don’t, I think I’m getting by with something which isn’t true at all since it shows up physically on my body. Can’t hide that!! Another rule for me is to slow down and actually enjoy what it is I’m eating. Especially if it something that I’ve been craving or have made special arrangements to have. I need to savor every bite. Another good rule is not to just automatically say no to myself. Perhaps say, not now, but later. Of course by then I have forgotten or I’ve removed myself from the situation. So it makes me easier with myself but leaves the option open. Another rule is no eating in front of the TV. Especially with an open bag or box of anything!! I will look down and it will be gone. If I absolutely must have something then it HAS to be counted out or weighed and points figured before I can go back to the living room with it. Also never take samples while shopping at the grocery store. Most likely whatever they are trying to sell me, I probably don’t need it in my house! I will probably find it delicious and want to put in in my cart. So now I will have blown my points and budget! And if you’ve ever watched the sampling station, I’ve seen people come and get a sample, take a bite and put it back. EWWWWW!! I just remind myself of that and that helps me stay away as well.
So just like I needed the boundaries of the fence for me to feel safe and secure, I need the boundaries of the program for me to feel the same way. I just love when people tell me to just healthy. I really don’t know what that means. I really need a “budget” with numbers for this to make sense for me. Kinda like my checking account, when there is no more money, then you are done for the day or week. The Weight Watchers program is very specific and detailed for me. Sometimes people don’t like that and some of us need that. I just can’t be left free to “eat healthy.” Just like my children can’t be left to not hit each other or fight or argue. Or just go clean their rooms when they see them cluttered. Everyone always feels safer with a little discipline, boundaries, and rules. I never knew getting a new fence would give me a light bulb moment at a Weight Watchers meeting. Everything happens for a reason.